Hair Gel

May 19, 2019

There are many aspects of ones youth that you must leave behind as you get older; taking pride in who is topping the charts, the current fashion trends of the day, lauding superheroes, the lure of socialism and wearing white trainers with light blue jeans, to name but a few. 

 

However most important of all is hair gel.

 

It is absolutely unforgivable to continue to use hair gel over the age of 35, I do note the recent debates with regards to lowering this age to 30, however I am not an extremist on this topic, and so I am happy to formally lobby for an outright ban of the use of hair gel, for men over the age of 35. 

 

 Now I understand the fact that I am bald may call into question my credibility on this issue, however I would point you towards the superb advice given by Joni Mitchell; “you don’t know what you’ve got till its done.”  

 

As a bald man, there is not a day goes by that I do not lament the joy and privilege of having a head of hair; and seeing people abuse their follicle gifts is something that cuts me deep.

 

Hair gel is of course an important aspect of being young; flooding your hair with chemicals with the intention of freezing your hair rigid is a path well trod by every teenage boy. A look best demonstrated by a young Gareth Gates in the inaugural series of Pop Idol.

 

However as you get older, it is vital to age with grace and embrace the next decade of your life. Sadly, the inability to let go of hair gel would suggest that you have yet to give up computer games, printed T-Shirts, social media and alcopops. 

 

And so, hair gel should be treated as the gateway consumer product to an adulthood of adolescence; something that should be discouraged at all costs. 

 

And it is for this reason that I am formally calling for the prohibition of hair gel for all men over the age of 35. 

 

 

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