The other day, I was in the car with the radio on, mindlessly listening to the popular tunes interspersed with DJ banter as I went about my business. It is such a relief to have multiple radio stations to channel hop between again. One thing that really irritated me about local radio when living overseas was just how utter rubbish it was. I cannot abide fake DJ joviality and fake laughter because there’s nothing else they can think of to fill the airwaves.
However, that’s not what I really want to talk about today.
So, I’m in the car. I’m singing along in my head, sometimes out loud, to the songs playing on a lunchtime slot. I love music and can feel my whole self be lifted to a much better place when I hear some of my favourites bands. But it’s very fair to say that I’m not into music in a connoisseur kind of way. By which I mean those who know what song comes from which album and only need to hear a few keys of the intro before declaring ‘banging tune’ and go off into a trance and start verbally dissecting it in depth.
I can however, be a bit pedantic on occasion. I mean, who isn’t when they see ‘your’ when clearly it should be ‘you’re’. I also feel the same way when I hear ‘was you there?’
The cause of offence happens to be the song Year 3000 by that well known ‘punk pop’ band Busted and which was later covered by the Jonas Brothers. I have heard this song countless times before. Bopped around to it on occasion in a late night O’Neills in central London back in the day. Never been upset by it before. Until now. And forever will be I suspect.
Here’s an excerpt of the offending lyrics taken from the Jonas Brothers version that were adapted for their more pre-teen fanbase.
I've been to the year 3000
Not much has changed, but they lived underwater
And your great-great-great-granddaughter
Is doing fine
Firstly, if we’re living underwater I would consider that a pretty big change. But the point that gets me is the inaccuracy of the timeline. It’s the Year 3000. Almost a thousand years since this song was penned as it was originally released in 2003. And yet they figured in the Year 3000, your Great Great Great Granddaughter is doing fine. So I pondered the very difficult maths in the car and concluded that if I were to have a grown up Great Great Great Granddaughter the year would be around 2177 give or take a few years. I scientifically based my workings out on my own average of having children and assumed the same for the next few generations.
When I voiced my upset out loud to my Husband, he tries to reason that perhaps by then people are able to delay childbirth until they’re 800 years old. Perhaps. But then not much has changed but they live underwater. I can never listen to this song again without shouting at the radio.
Songwriters, you have an amazing talent. You have the ability to articulate our feelings of love, hope, triumph, despair, civil unrest and so much more. Your songs lifts our spirits and make us believe you wrote it just for us. You understand us in this moment and the right songs shape the general mood of the age. We stand beside you when your lyrics resonates with our inner selves during times of happiness or distress.
We believe in you songwriters! So please stop feeding us tripe with cheap lyrics that don’t make sense. Speaking of which, best not dwell too long on the lyrics Ra Ra Rasputin.