Motherhood

May 17, 2018

I am a mother of three, and I work part time, several hours a week. It is tough juggling roles but I do love being a mother. I choose to be with my children more than work. This does not make me a better mother than those who choose to have a full time job. (And yes, for some, it is a necessity and not a choice.) 

 

We are mums. We are our own people. We are doing our best, and that is enough.

 

A wonderful lady I know, chose to have a career (a very successful one at that) but with it comes sacrifices and guilt, which unfortunately seems to be a mother's prerogative; whether you're a stay at home mum, one with a part time job, or with a full time job. Below is a letter from me to her

 

Dear M

 

You are a wonderful mum. 

 

I know you feel guilty for putting career first, for feeling that you weren’t there for your children while they were growing up, for forgetting school dress up days.

 

But have you thought of the mornings you got the children up, fed them breakfast, dropping them off to school, before rushing off to work yourself? Or the evenings when you were exhausted from work, but still made sure there’s dinner on the table? The times you ensured the kids had clean uniforms and socks, homework is done and the lovely holidays with the family? When you were there for them when they needed a shoulder to cry on? Cheering them on from the sidelines during their sporting events? 

 

You did the best with whatever resources and knowledge you had at that time.

 

We, as a society, almost always forget that you are not just a mum. We expect so much out of you the minute you become a mother. We expect you to stop having dreams and ambitions, to drop everything else in your life and be a mother. But you are your own person and being mum is a part of you. Whether it encapsulated your life or not as much, it is still just a part of you. 

 

I hope you do know you have raised wonderful human beings. Above all, I hope you are able to stop being so hard on yourself and forgive yourself. 

 

You did your best. And that is enough.

 

Lots of love,

Saya

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